In this article, we’ll share with you what the personal relation to pleasure is all about. The origins of sexual pleasure are numerous. One of the ways to reach it is to generate a high amount of sexual arousal on your own. Your partner is not the only one who can help you come; masturbation is also a good way to come.
What’s personal pleasure?
Solo pleasure is often associated with masturbation but does pleasure remain personal when using a sex toy or poppers?
Also, can we broaden this questioning to know if being given pleasure remotely by a master or a dominator is still solitary pleasure? If we go a step further, are we still alone while watching porn? We somewhat participate visually. What about having several mirrors to watch ourselves pleasure, are we still on our own or are the multiple images of ourselves giving us pleasure as if we were in a group?
The answer is far from being easy since sensitivities are multiple! In any case, this can allow us to develop several types of behaviour such as exploring our own bodies. Feel more comfortable with it without the help of our partner.
So, new sources of pleasure can be discovered as for instance the anal area for men or the stimulation of the G spot for women. What looks obvious is that each time has its own relation to sexual solitude. We can’t give a miss to what others think of our moments of solo arousal.
From narcissism to masturbation
Solitary pleasure is often viewed as taboo. Indeed, masturbation often has a moral downside. Solo pleasure would be a selfish act while making love to a partner would be sharing something. This conception would sound more acceptable ethically speaking.
According to sexologists, this seems to be the case for women. They don’t dare to have pleasure without their partner who then are held responsible for their orgasms. It’s known for instance that 40% of French people never talk about masturbation to their partners as if this phenomenon didn’t exist.
Yet, in erotic films, some practices considered as scarce such as autofellatio or auto penetration are shown more and more. Showing these sexual practices proves that they’re real and their potential success among the public. Furthermore, the practices seen as “extreme” seem to be getting more popular and consequently losing their interest.
Let’s take for example auto penetration which is very documented on the internet. We notice that this practice is relatively accessible provided you have the patience to train. Having a very long penis is not a prerequisite. What matters is having a mild erection so that your anus is able to welcome your sex inside. Not to mention that you need to move your testicles aside so that your penis lies against your perineum.
Masturbation is not only a matter of sex!
If the practice we’ve just described above doesn’t attract you, it’s still food for thought as far as solitary pleasure is concerned. In that case, a man can give himself some pleasure. He’s consequently fully autonomous and totally responsible for his own pleasure. If we think about this subject a little further, we’ll have to tackle the issue of the partners, which sounds legitimate.
Who is entitled to make me come? Are there any rules about this or a specific context to allow it? Why is masturbation still seen as taboo when you’re with your partner as if his/her presence would ban this type of pleasure. This ends up in seeing few couples who masturbate side by side. Whereas it could be a new source of pleasure.
If we talk a little more about auto penetration again. We can see the perfect combination of power and penetration in the sense that it is revolutionary. There are no more active or passive partners, no more penetrating power or organs to penetrate: all is one. The binary system on which the traditional couple lies is abolished. Some even think that we would experience all genres simply because we’re humans. Auto penetration allows us to be straight, gay, male, female, object or subject or even nothing. All this questions the real body in opposition to traditional representations of it.
A question of meaning
To continue in this philosophical field, we can talk about Plato’s myth of the cave. The latter sends us back to our own image by questioning us about the reality of our own existence and our body compared to an unconscious representation.
It’s known that masturbation takes its meaning from an etymology meaning “prostituting or making your hand dirty”. Semantically speaking, you cannot say that this word is not accurate. But on second thought, we can understand that our whole body is an erotic toy just like our mind.
We can then stop thinking that only genitality brings pleasure to widen this notion to our whole being, physically as well as mentally. So we can observe that all types of eroticisms can coexist, whether by being genital, mental or spiritual or by giving a potential of enjoyment hitherto unknown.
To conclude, we could say that exploring these ways can give us a better knowledge of ourselves. In a sense, auto masturbation or solitary pleasure would be a means to satisfy our senses but also to know ourselves as intimately as possible.